Being Slytherin
by footshooter
Summary: A cracky story about what it may be like to be living with the 6th year Slytherins while Draco tries to do his mission and that; centered mainly on Draco and Blaise's friendship. Swearing. Back by /sort of\ popular demand!
1. Chapter 1

"Draco."

No response.

"Draco, wake up."

There was a groan from the bed, and Blaise pulled the curtains around his bed open. There was another groan as the cold air hit Draco's back.

"Draco!"

"Fuck _off_, Blaise!" Draco snapped, pulling a pillow from under his head and throwing it at Blaise, who caught it, and smirked.

Draco put his head back down, but with the lack of a pillow he couldn't get comfortable. He hit his head off the remaining pillow on the mattress.

"Bit uncomfortable there, Draco?"

Draco flipped over in the bed, sitting up and glaring at Blaise, who was standing with the pillow clutched to his chest and a smirk on his face, knowing he'd won.

"Fuck you, Blaise. Give it back."

Blaise raised an eyebrow, "No."

"Why the hell not?"

"You'll miss breakfast, again."

"I don't care about the pissing breakfast." Draco said, putting his elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

Blaise sighed, noticing how much Draco's ribs were protruding and how grey his skin was. He felt slightly guilty for waking him up from a normal sleep. He'd been putting silencing charms on his bed to cover up the screams from the others in the dorm in order to protect his friends reputation since they got back to Hogwarts. He didn't know what was going on, but it hurt him to see it happening. Slytherin or no Slytherin.

Blaise's eyes were drawn to Draco's left arm suddenly, and he swallowed. Well, the reason Draco always seemed to dress behind his curtains was obvious… although it would be so much easier just to wear a pyjama t shirt to bed. Draco twitched his arm around slightly, as if he _knew _it was on show.

Draco looked up, and Blaise didn't react in the slightest – it would make life much easier for him if he pretended he hadn't seen the Mark, after all. He smiled,

"Now that you're awake… breakfast?"

Draco growled, but swung himself out of bed nonetheless.

"Fucking hell, fine, if you're gonna go on about it," he said, standing up. He turned his back to Blaise, muttering something that sounded like, "less hassle from my bloody mother…"

Baise threw the cushion back at him, and hit him in the back of the head. Draco turned round and glared.

"Don't compare me to your mother, Draco. There's no way in hell Lucius is gonna smack this."

Blaise wasn't sure how Draco would take that comment, and almost regretted it as soon as it was out of his mouth. But instead of cursing him into next week, Draco shook his head and almost smiled, before turning back towards the bathroom. Blaise himself smiled in response because as much of a cold-hearted bastard he was, he didn't like seeing Draco in the state he had been in recently. Draco paused in the bathroom door.

"Blaise?"

"Yeah?"

"Pick that cushion up."

Blaise snorted, "I'm no house-elf."

"Whatever. Have you got any hair-gel? I appear to have run out."

Blaise laughed as he went to pick up a bottle from his emergency supplies cupboard. The one that Draco had took the piss out of him for having the year before; I mean, yeah, there was a lot of it there, but – in times like these…

"Only if you take back what you said about my supplies."

Draco snorted, "I don't ever take back anything I say. You should know that by now."

"Well then, you're not getting any."

Draco shrugged, forgetting Blaise couldn't see him.

"Fine then, you'll just have to cope with being seen with me while I look like this. I don't give a shit."

Blaise grabbed one of the bottles and headed towards the bathroom, chucking Draco's pillow on to his bed as he was passing. He reached the bathroom door to be confronted with the first genuine smile he'd seen from Draco in months, along with the worst bed hair he'd seen in months…

"That," he said, pointing to Draco's hair and catching his eye in the mirror. "Is completely not cool."

Draco laughed; and in doing so managed to spray the sink with toothpaste foam. He was really living up to the Malfoy reputation this morning.

….

Blaise and Draco were actually one of the first students to make it down to breakfast, causing Draco to loudly curse everything Blaise has ever had or stood for. Draco paused in his ranting when he caught Dumbledore's eye, the old man looking down at him with an expression of concern and pity. Draco's heart rate increased, and his hand clutched at his left arm; causing Blaise to regard him with an equally concerned expression.

Draco looked away from the headmaster, and with a surprising lack of grace flopped down into his usual seat at the Slytherin table attempting to look haughty and imposing. He removed his hand when he noticed Blaise looking at him, and sniffed.

"I still say it's too early, Blaise."

Blaise laughed, and Draco scowled at him while picking up a bacon sandwich. He nibbled the end of it and Blaise practically beamed. Draco raised his eyebrows and sneered.

"No need to look so proud, Blaise; or my father may feel the need to… uh… 'smack that'."

Blaise practically choked as he attempted not to spray the table in front of him with juice. Draco tried to look condescending, but failed miserably.

When Blaise had recovered, and Draco was halfway through the bacon sandwich, he raised an eyebrow.

"What?" Draco asked.

"Potter's looking at you."

Draco snorted, "Potter is _always _looking at me. Haven't you noticed that by now?"

Draco picked up a spoon and waved his wand at it briefly, before subtly positioning it in such a way that he could hone in on Potter. He smirked,

"Honestly, that boy needs a girlfriend. If he spent half of the time he spends staring at me looking around him, he might get his leg over a bit more."

Blaise looked at him, blankly. "Uh?"

Draco rolled his eyes, and in that moment was almost back to normal.

"Come on Blaise, keep up. Look at the way Weasley looks at him."

Blaise shifted his gaze, and Malfoy tutted,

"The female one, idiot."

"Oh, right," he said while looking towards Ginny who was trying desperately to gain Potter's attention.

"Oh! Right!"

Draco sighed, "Now he gets it."

Before Blaise could utter a sarcastic response, Draco's spoon-come-mirror was filled with a figure. He dropped it as Pansy Parkinson sat down beside him in a way she thought would be endearing, and shrieked,

"Oh Draco, you made it to breakfast!"

Draco's eyes widened – he did not need this right now. Blaise snorted into his goblet.

"Uh, yeah. Hi."

"How are you feeling, Draco? Have you been ill?"

"Uh…"

Pansy patted his left arm, and he yanked it out of her grip.

"Not feeling so great now, actually. I'm gonna… be off."

He stood up and headed towards the doors, Blaise following him.

"S'up man?"

Draco rolled his eyes, "Can't be bothered with her swooning right now."

"It is a bit pathetic," Blaise agreed, and Draco shrugged.

Harry watched intently as Malfoy and Zabini left the Great Hall in a flurry of Slytherin arrogance; completely oblivious that Ginny had about 3 of the top buttons on her shirt undone and was leaning forward in an attempt to catch his attention. His eyes narrowed, and Hermione also leant forward, but more because she was unnerved by the fact that her friend was stabbing the table than because she wanted him to look at her tits.

"Harry, are you alright?"

Harry turned to look at her, a slightly mental expression on his face.

"Malfoy is up to something."

Hermione glanced at Ron, and sighed softly. And they thought he was _over _the Malfoy obsession.

They should be so lucky.


	2. Chapter 2

"I think I might follow Malfoy."

Harry stood up, ignoring the protests of Ron and Hermione and Ginny's crestfallen face, and followed Malfoy out of the hall.

Ron stood up to follow, but Hermione put her arm over his and shook her head.

"Just leave him, he has to learn we won't follow his silly obsessions."

Ron angrily took a bite of a sausage, and turned to Ginny.

"Ginny, why the hell are you flashing your tits to the hall?"

Ginny's face turned red and she scowled at him, "I am not!"  
>"I think your shirt button must have popped open, Gin." Hermione said, nodding.<p>

"Get it sorted. It's not decent," Ron snarled, and Ginny fixed a couple of buttons, still shooting daggers.

Meanwhile, in the corridor, Harry was hiding behind pillars and generally being a stealth monkey. Or so he thought.

Blaise frowned; glancing behind him and watching half of Potter's body disappear into an alcove. He leant over to Draco when he turned back round.

"Hey, Drake?"  
>"Hm?"<br>"I think Potter's following you."

Draco sighed, "Potter is _always_ following me, Blaise. He's such a stalker fanboy."

They kept walking, and then all of a sudden, Draco spun round, catching Harry off guard.

"Potter. What a surprise."  
>"Damn it, Malfoy."<p>

They both pulled out their wands and stood, staring at each other, waiting for the other to back down. Blaise leaned against a pillar, staring at his nails. They could probably do with cutting…

Snape materialised around a corner, melting from the walls or something, his eyes narrowing.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

"Go away, Snape!" Draco and Harry shouted in unison, and then they both jumped and stared at each other, narrowing their eyes.

"No need for that. Now _run along_, Potter, before I take points from Gryffindor."

Harry scowled and muttered under his breath, but turned on his heel and stalked away nonetheless.

"I'll find out what you're doing yet, Malfoy!"  
>"Whatever, Potter."<p>

Malfoy turned around and grabbed Blaise's elbow to drag him off. Snape grabbed Draco's elbow and spun him around, Draco dragging Blaise in some weird pirouette and them doing a strange dance for a couple of minutes before Snape simply blocked the corridor with his arms.

"Enough, Draco! I need to talk to you."  
>"No you don't."<br>"I _do_."  
>"Don't."<br>"Draco!"  
>"Bye."<p>

Draco ducked under one of Snape's arms and ran off into the distance. Snape sighed, and his eyes travelled to Blaise, who shrugged.

"I always thought he liked you."

Snape sniffed, "Go away please, Zabini."

And then he flurried off in a whirl of black capes and Blaise paused to reflect for a second on exactly why the rest of the school thought he looked like an overgrown bat. And then he nodded to himself and set off to track down Draco before the first years started stampeding again.


End file.
